Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
