You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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