It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
