new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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