the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
