and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
