If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
