if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
