I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
