fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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