I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
