Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
