It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
