Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
