oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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