Fuck appropriateness.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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