Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my shit smells like andre
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
