Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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