OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
