If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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