I'd wear matching sweaters with you
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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