never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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