I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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