dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I cut my penus on the lid.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
