You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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