Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
