mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
