How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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