Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I can't turn off my feet"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
