My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
