Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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