how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Michael Bay diarrhea
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
