Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You are the jesus of drinking
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
