You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
