Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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