can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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