Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
