you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
