Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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