Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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