Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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