Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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