You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
