it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
