so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
