I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Are we still banned from the library?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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