Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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