I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Operation Purity has been aborted
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
