Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
