His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
