i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
