kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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