I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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