Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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