The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
