I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
