Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
